Archive for April, 2011

Illusion of Death Part 1

April 27, 2011
Day 167 - The Magician

Image by Christophe Verdier via Flickr


I took a nap the other afternoon and fell into a very deep sleep. I had not dreamt, and in a dreamless sleep I had become completely nonexistent to myself. When I awoke, my existence startled me. I felt strange and disoriented like one feels when waking up in a strange new place. I felt as if I had been dead to the world and suddenly zapped back to life. But I had not died. I had been here all along, asleep on that living room couch. It’s just that my head voice was telling me that because I could not think while I slept I was pretty much dead.

While I slept I lost consciousness and felt nonexistent to myself, because I could not hear that voice, my own thoughts, inside of my head. But what is the point to that? Why must I experience existing and not existing?

When we wake up every morning we feel reborn. Most often we do not have time to dwell on this feeling because we wake up with alarm clocks and continue to rush throughout the day, physically or mentally. But try to give yourself one morning where you wake up naturally to feel the birth of yourself on a new day. You will notice the feeling of having stopped existing as you slept through out the night. This is part of the illusion set up to convince you that the day brings you life and the night brings you death. And because you can not consciously think while you are asleep it feels as if you stopped existing. Your head voice holds the affirmation that you exist to yourself. It goes silent in sleep. And so in death shall it be silenced. And if death is the end of that head voice than it must surly be the end of you also.

But this is just an illusion to make us believe that we have an end. That we have a beginning (day, waking up) and we have an end (night, darkness, sleep). Birth and Death.

Even those who believe in an “afterlife” say that their existence started the day they were born. Yet, they believe that after their body dies they will “live” forever in heaven. How can a person believe they will exist forever after death when they can’t believe that they existed before they were born?

And it all starts with the day you are born. After you have lived for 12 months everyone cheers that you are now one years old! But did you not exist while inside of the womb? Had your physical body not been in perpetual growth for 9 months? Had your mother not felt you move and kick inside of her? Why do we as human beings ignore that time period? Is it as simple as out of sight out of mind?

We did exist before our birth day. The illusion is that there was no existence inside of the darkness. That before your appearance in this physical world you never existed. And after death when you cannot walk this world anymore then you will no longer exist… again.

A high school teacher once said to me that the fear of death all had to do with the fear one has of the unknown. He explained that had he come into my mother’s womb and proclaimed to me “One day you will be born little embryo!“ I would’ve spent my entire time in the womb in fear of my birth day.